Renew the Mind Counselling
Relationships
Moving Forward after a Relationship Breakdown
Setting New Goals
This means trying to figure out what your needs are. Your emotional needs could include:
- Feeling important and in some ways feeling challenged.
- Having connection where you feel understood and appreciated.
- Having security where you feel safe and having trust.
Self-care and Re-building Confidence and Self/Esteem
Think of self-care as well-being and the aim is to fill the “well-being cup” instead of emptying it.
- Try to separate yourself from your past relationship and to do this, take an objective look at what the relationship was really like. Often we only remember the good times because that’s what we want the reality to be.
- Self-care can start with the very basics such as showering, cleaning teeth or putting on a fresh set of clothes. Beyond that, some activities are more planned such as journalling, having coffee with a friend, taking time away from devices or visiting a counsellor.
It is important to make sure that:-
- You are eating well
- You are getting enough sleep
- You are doing some form of exercise
- You are keeping in touch with friends
- You have a hobby or re-engage in an activity that you previously enjoyed.
If you practise self-care, it will help you to manage your stress and anxiety and help you to find ways to cope and adapt when facing new challenges.
Want to talk to a qualified counsellor?
Friendships
The break up of the life that you have built together with your partner can be very challenging as it can affect your circle of friends. When you have been with your partner for a long time, you are often classified as a “unit” and so the breakup can become more complicated. Single friends from the past have often moved on with their lives and to be with the same circle of friends you had as a couple can be uncomfortable. It can be difficult to make new friends as an adult, but you often need to take yourself out of your comfort zone. It may meant that you can find a place to go with like-minded people where it might be easier to strike up a conversation.
Try to avoid a new relationship for while as a means to find a friendship. Instead, make peace with your separation so that you are feeling calm and happy when you are socialising so that you can make the friendships happen. Your self-care is also very important when you are wanting to engage in new friendships.
Want to talk to a qualified counsellor?
Find a Hobby or Sport
When you explore new sports or hobbies, it can give you a chance to give yourself the opportunity to see who you are outside of the relationship. Instead of feeling sad over the breakup, look at it as an opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and, most of all, exploration. A sport or a hobby can do that for you and it also keeps your mind busy with something that is fun to do and distracting as well.
Renew the Mind
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