Over these middle years, you’ll see the gradual development of your child’s social skills, and an increasing ability to relate to others. Your child might have a great desire to fit in and be accepted by her peer group – some degree of peer group acceptance is essential for her self-esteem.
At this age, many children want to play with children the same sex as them, and can sometimes stereotype members of the opposite sex. This is normal, and offers you the opportunity to point out that both sexes are capable of doing lots of different things, not just ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ things.
Although children of six and seven share activities and enjoy each other’s company, it’s usually not until they’re eight that they begin to be capable of imagining what it’s like to be another person, and to form sustained friendships. Because of your child’s emphasis on sticking to ‘the rules’, his efforts to play with others can still go astray. Adult guidance and assistance can help keep play positive.
In the middle years, your child might:
- have some understanding of rules (around age six) and might want to add some rules of her own (around age seven)
- be starting to like team games (at around eight years)
- start to understand another person’s view of things (usually around eight or nine)
- be more careful with his own belongings (at about nine years)
- be full of bravado and confidence or, conversely, full of doubts about herself – this varies for different ages and personality types
- be beginning to show signs of being more responsible
- like to win at games, but might not be able to lose cheerfully
- tell lies or steal, and might not yet have fully developed a proper understanding of right and wrong
- like going to school, unless he has a problem there
- have problems with friends – this is normal for most children from time to time
- enjoy going to a sleepover at a friend’s house.
Developing understanding
- At this age, children are often very excited by and genuinely interested in the outside world. Your child will be able to absorb information with enthusiasm and frequently remember remarkable detail about subjects that interest her.
- By nine, your child might already be developing preferences for certain subjects at school, or particular areas of interest. He has beginners skills in reading, writing and maths, and the capacity to express relatively complex ideas.
- Your child’s thinking processes are subject to her emotions and self-esteem. If she’s worried or unhappy, she won’t be able to concentrate or ‘think properly’, and generally won’t have the strength to overcome this until her worries are sorted out.
- Similarly, if your child’s self-esteem is low he might be reluctant to try new tasks in case he fails. Cognitive development in these years has a lot to do with feeling settled and supported to try new things and to extend himself.
If you would like some help with some of these strategies, the help of a counsellor who specialises in parenting could be something to consider. Get in Touch
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